Healing wings
by Belasi
Summary: The land inside the wall is not the only place where humans survived. These other humans had more ressources available and designed weapons of which the walled people could only dream of. Even so, these humans were unable to kill of all Titans. And now they want to find out if there are other people like them left in this world. LevixOC
1. Chapter 1- Introductions

Hi! I hope you'll enjoy this story. Please tell me what you think of it.

The story will not start inside the walls (as you'll see). I do not own Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin.

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I am Patricia Erez.

"Please wait in here. The doctor will come soon."

I live on the Southern Continent.

"Miss Erez?" "Yes. That's me." "I am sorry that doctor Ragis is unable to come himself. He has been working too hard and is currently incapable to speak with you."

I am working for the SC air-force. (A/N: SC is short for Southern Continent.) I am the Captain of the Blue Formation or Blue-Squad.

"That is alright. I know how important this project is to him."

I was born on April the 2nd 821. Since it's the 5th of February 849 I will be celebrating my 28th birthday this year.

"Still, it does not serve as excuse for not seeing to one of his oldest patients."

I am called "the hero of humanity". Since there isn't a man who's better than me I don't care whether they call me hero or heroine. I believe that gendering is important sometimes, not always but sometimes.

"You wanted to tell me the test results."

I have been ill since I was a child. It's inherited. My father had the same illness.

"Yes, of course." The young physician took a deep breath. "Miss Erez, we are now sure that your illness is terminal. We have medications to prevent the symptoms from showing. We even have medications to prolong your live a bit. But I am afraid that you will die in one or two years, three at most."

I am not crying. I am not breaking down. I've known my fate since my dad died. I almost was a female version of him. I simply asked: "Why?"

"Some years ago scientists have found the code of life. They call it DNA. Some parts of the code are used to, for example, determinate your hair color. Then there are blank spaces too. Until now the scientists do not know what they do or whether they have a function at all. It appears that you posses more blank spaces than other humans, which impairs the regeneration process of the cells."

"I see. Thank you for your time doctor. Do you think you could give me a prescription for these medications you mentioned? Or might you have some with you?" "I have both." He handed me a bag. "In here is the medication for February, the explanation how to use them and the prescriptions. I will make sure that you get another appointment with doctor Ragis." "Thank you doctor." I bowed and walked you.

I won't tell my squad about this right now. I don't need them worrying about me now since we still have to worry about the new member.

I am Patricia Erez. I am airborn. Thus I live to fly and I can read the wind. Thus I will not live more than three years. Thus I have to realize my dreams before then. I have a lot to do and to experience.

So let's get to it!

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I chose to write airborne wrong because 'airborne' means 'flying' or 'to be in the air' (eg. dust-particles). My 'airborn' is supposed to be a term for people who are natural pilots (natural like breathing). It is more than talent and more than instinct. I cut the 'borne' to 'born' to emphasise that people are born with this mindset and ability.


	2. Chapter 2- Preparations

I will refer to ships and planes with female pronouns because it's custom (at least it was) and I like it more than saying 'it' (because I really love ships). And the pill Patricia is taking for breakfast is her medication (just in case you were wondering).

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100 years ago titans suddenly appeared all over the world. Not only did they destroy civilisation but they also ate humans. They were unstoppable devouring every child woman or man in their way. The people living on the Southern Continent were lucky. While the Titans devastated the Northern Continent the nations of the Southern Continent chose to unite against the oversized humanoids and started digging a channel through the land bridge connecting the Northern and the Southern Continent. The Titans were unable to swim and thus the Southern Continent was safe. To protect the peace the government revolutionized the military. The marine and the air-force are shielding the Southern Continent from the titans.

To search for other humans the government created the project "Salvator" in the year 800. It's mission was to develop technology that would allow humans to pass through Titan-territory. It took almost 50 years to develop and build a suitable vehicle as well as fighting gear.

"Let me introduce to you the 'Voyager', humankinds stronghold in sea and on land." Doctor Marcus presented her new design to the admirals and senior captains of marine and air-force. "She an amphibian vehicle signed to carry up to fifty planes, which means that the five elite formations and their support can stay on board. There is enough space for one-thousand-five-hundred people. Her engines work with electric power which is produced by solar panels, by the sports facilities for the crew and by fuel cells. Because of that she only needs water and sun to move."

Doctor Marcus went on about the three latest airplane designs. One was designed for slaying Titans, one for scouting and log-keeping and one purely for support. All three of them were powered by fuel cells. "The prototypes have already been build and tested."Admiral Champlain said. "And that's why we called you captains here today. I want you to ask each member of your formations whether they want to go on this reconnaissance mission. They might never come back. I want their answers by the end of this week. As soon as I know who will participate I will provide them with their new airplanes. Dismissed."

I let the green goo called 'Avocado cream' plop back onto my plate. Today was A-dinner in the canteen. A-letter soup, aubergines with avocado cream and apple mousse. I hate aubergines and I hate avocados. I pushed my tray over to Ahmed who was known to eat everything edible. Well a twelve year old boy has to grow somehow. The canteen was almost empty and thus perfect for having a serious talk.

"Now guys, as you know I have been in a meeting with the higher-ups and it looks like project 'Salvator' is getting started." "Seriously?!" "Well it took them long enough." "Liss, do you think there are other humans out there?" "Yes. By the size of the world there have to be some left." "Guys shut up and let me finish." General sounds of apology. "The admirals want volunteers for this job since they believe that all of them are going to die." Snickering. "Don't think about this matter like that. Who knows how the other Titans are like? If they are big enough to break our moving base we are cut off of everything. We would not survive. And what if the other humans are cannibals or want our tech for themselves? What if they are responsible for creating the Titans? Think about it and tell me in five days. Good night."

After a wonderful breakfast consisting of crunchy toasted bread, a delicious soft-boiled egg , a sweet apple and one (not) very tasty pill I stepped into the hall where the Blue Squads planes were parked. All squad members were present and on an almost invisible sign by my second-in-command Christopher they lined up. "Sir," Chris saluted "all Blue Squad members wish to volunteer for project 'Salvator's recon mission." "I told you to think about it."

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Melissa 'Liss' Housson stepped out. "What are we waiting for? The Titans are adapting to our tactics and we have no idea where they came from and how to stop them. We need to find allies or we are doomed. I didn't sign up to sit idly around and wait. If-if I get killed fighting ... but I won't wait for them to eat me. I just ... I ..." Tear started to creep into her green eyes.

"It's alright Lissy. I just want to make sure that you guys don't leap into something because of some stupid bout of heroism. Leave that idiotic stuff to me! You guys all think like Liss?" Enthusiastic nodding. "Oh dear, I must have done something horrible to deserve such suicidal subordinates." I said half-joking. "Now then I will inform Admiral Champlain about your decision this very afternoon. This day we are going to do some freestyle training. Make sure to properly say goodbye to your planes." Because of their stunned and confused looks I added: "You are going to have different ones tomorrow."

"All of them volunteered?" Admiral Champlain put the report down. "Captain, are you sure you're up to this?" "Sir, I'd rather spend a shorter time experiencing something than sitting around in a hospital and living an additional year. And if something was to happen to me Lieutenant Globe is more than able to take over as captain." "This is not about the ability of your subordinates. This is about you recklessly squandering the life you have left!" "Sir, the things you regret are seldom things you have done. You mostly regret things you haven't done. I want to travel. I want to explore. And I want my remaining days to be of use to someone." The admiral rubbed his temples. "You are an idiot, Captain Erez. You know that?" I smiled. "I've been told that frequently sir." "You will have your new airplanes and your new experiences. You are dismissed."


	3. Chapter 3- Voyage,voyage

Hi! I'm happy to present you my cover (just for your information: I uploaded it with the third chapter). Sadly I had to trun it 90° anti-clockwise. It's supposed to be the emblem of the SC air-force. Each formation has its own colors (Golden Formation = solid golden wings, Blue/Green/Red/Yellow Formations = blue/green/red/yellow + silver in shown pattern, non-elite Formations = brown+silver, Scouts = solid white; Support = solid silver). The emblem is printed on the uniform jackets and coats. The inner wing-pair fills out the back and the outer wing-pair goes from the sides to the front of the body. The uniforms are either matte dark brown or matte black. The jackets are longer in the back than in the front and the shoes are combat boots (black).

I've talked long enough. Please drop me a line to let me know what you think. If you find a mistake please let me know. And don't be afraid to criticize me! I always love reviews and take them seriously! Chapter 4 will be the first chapter with canon characters! Sorry for the long note!

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It didn't take one day for me to decide that being on a ship was better than being on solid ground. The ground was a place where Titans lived and Titans do not live in the sea. And the sea itself was amazing. When it wasn't stormy it was colored in a deep shade of blue resembling the sky above.

One month after the fateful conference the 'Voyager' played host to three elite formations (Gold – six members, Yellow – thirteen members; Blue- seven members), four support flyers and ten additional long range scouts. The formations took turns training by flying. On the two remaining days they were either working out or learning how to be a diplomat. After all, we couldn't be sure that other humans even spoke our language.

It took a month to cross the ocean and let me remind you that we had good weather! Now the 'Voyager' could proof her worth. She was not only designed to swim like a ship, but also to crawl over land like a giant caterpillar or like a mountain on continuous tracks. To leave the water she needed a soft slope and a rocky ground. As soon as the ship was on land, Admiral Champlain introduced to us our new schedule. For the formations 'scouting' now equalled hunting for Titans and the scouts were on their ways to explore the new continent. And for me it was time to deal with a different problem.

Two days after 'Voyager' left the sea I started talking with an almost cheery voice and a serene smile. "Guys, I have to tell you something!" I got their attention but I was sure they thought that I had found a boyfriend or that I was pregnant. I mean who goes on saying "I'm going to die in one or two years" with a smile on ones face? Their reaction: "That's grea- ... Wait. WHAT?!" "I have a defect in my DNA which causes my cells to be unable to replicate. No replication means my body is breaking down." "And why the hell are you telling us now?! We could have stayed at home! Here are no doctors to treat you!"

"Hold your horses, Chris! I take medication and it wouldn't have it any other way. The doctors at home can't help me and I want to be of use and to see the world. If I told you earlier you would have forced me to stay home. And I would have hated you for that." "Have you even thought about our feelings?! Damn it!" Chris stood up and walked away. Melissa stood up too and said "I'll look after him." Ah, sweet Melissa. Thank you for being alive.

The remaining four people stared at me. I know it's hard to imagine a person not being there when he or she is. "You are selfish, captain." Confused I looked at Melvin Zecher, Melissas fighting partner. "You really didn't consider our feelings. How can we not feel worried? Now we will spend every second hoping that you won't die." "I thought you'd rather see me dying happy than dying in a hospital kept alive by tubes and not being able to remember you." "You know that Chris will have to take over after your death. How could you make him deal with your death and additional responsibilities at the same time! He won't even be happy about his promotion! You really should have told us." He stalked away.

I sighed. I messed up everything. Blue Squads strength was teamwork. I probably had ruined it all. Melvin was right. If I hadn't been so selfish I wouldn't have hurt them so much. As I made my way from the showers to my quarters I ran into Walter Bauer and Eric Chang. Both were tall and stocky and had lost family to the Titans. In the regular air-force they had been quite useless. You can't make an eagle fly like a hummingbird. The three of us spend some R&R time for training and when I became captain of the Blue Squad I requested them to be in my squad. "We've talked. Eric and I, I mean. We can understand you. My grandmother was in a hospital because of cancer. But it was too late. She said she wished to have spent more time at home and seeing our faces when she made cakes. The others will come around. It just was a huge shock for everyone."

I awoke by someone opening the door to my room. I knew who it was. There is only one person who would disturb my sleep and he was the only person who I forgive waking me up. "What's up Ahmed?" "I had a nightmare." He might be 12 years old but he didn't exactly have a good childhood and was catching up with it right now. As long as his childish actions didn't hinder any missions I allowed him to do as he pleased. That includes sleeping with me if he has a nightmare. "Hop in small fry." "Why do you have to die?" "Everyone has to die one day." "Yes but why now? Why you?" "I don't know why now. I got this illness from my dad. They brought him to a doctor who prolonged his live. During his last days he didn't even recognise me. I wanted to spare you that." "By dying faster?" "Yes. Sleep now." "What if the nightmare comes back?" "Then I'll wake you as always." "Okay. 'Night." "Good night small fry."

"I'm sorry." "You don't have to be Chris. Your reaction was only natural. I am sorry too. I should have told you earlier." "You should have! I will accept your apology under one condition." "Go on." "You will let us fuss over you and you will tell us if your condition worsens." "Those are two conditions." He gave me an annoyed and angry look. "Alright, alright! I'll do it! Geez." "Yay!" Melissa slung her arms around our shoulders. "Now that everyone has made up we can get going! The scouts reported some mountains with lots of caves. Maybe there are humans left!" I doubted that. The Titans here might be less intelligent than 'ours' but they were bigger and there were more of them. I had no idea how humans could survive here. _We are most likely alone on this world._ And for me that was a most frightening thought. Some old books said that before the Titans came there were almost 300 million people living on this planet. And if that's true it means that the Titans have slaughtered more than 297 million humans! _How are we supposed to stop them? What are we supposed to do if we can't?_


	4. Chapter 4- Wings of hope

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I felt like the characters were telling me what to do! Please tell me what you think about Levi!

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"Admiral, you wanted to see me?" "Yes, Captain Erez. Please come in." I stepped up to his desk on which he had a map. The map of this continent was not finished yet but I recognized certain landmarks. The river we were following, the mountains Blue Squad visited two months ago, the desert Gold Squad told us about. Everything the scouts were filming with their cameras was depicted on maps like these. "Yesterday the scouts were following a smaller river to the northwest. They found a huge wall. Behind this wall they found signs of human life that could not have been older than ten years. I want you to investigate this. If there are humans you are ordered to make first contact." "Yes, sir!"

In m opinion there is nothing better than flying. I loved the way the wind pulled my hair. I loved the way I could use air currents to fly longer, higher or faster. I loved the feeling of ultimate freedom flying brought to me. And I loved flying with my friends. Sometimes we would gossip and sometimes we would show off certain moves. Today we were flying in a line like geese. I was in the front and chose the flight path. Due to my airborn ability I was able to sense air currents or sudden changes in the air and to use them for saving fuel. Ahmed and the three additional scouts were flying high above us where they could see more.

Today however we were repeating the phrases we were supposed to say. If we meet other humans, that is. Telling a Titan "Hello. We come in peace." would be a lie and a very unnecessary thing to say. We were discussing strategies how to stay safe and what to do in case the humans turned out to be hostile. Some when after three hours the lead scout Neil reported: "I can see the wall!" The river took a sharp turn and was now running straight to the west and into the wall. Soon the scouts reported a second wall. "Captain! I can see some Titans and they are pursuing something! ... ... HUMANS! They are pursuing humans! The humans are riding on a foreign four-footed animal."

As soon as we too were in sighting range I ordered: "Battle formation! Chris, you're doing a rolling-landing and telling them that we are helping them! Liss, Mel, you're taking the south flank! Walter, Eric! Take the east! I'll do the north! Don't be reckless and fly well!" We caught up with the southern Titans and I gave the order: "SCATTER!" Everyone broke the Y standard battle formation and flew to their targets. Luckily there were only two Titans on the north, one seven meter and one twice as tall. I took out a gun and shot the smaller Titans eyes. The Titan went mad with pain and hit his companion. I sliced the taller Titans neck with my left wing, made a tiny loop and sliced it again. While the Titan fell I decapitated the seven-meter Titan and ran my right wing through his flesh from the weak spot in his neck down to his hip. I used the hot steam to gain altitude and looked at the battlefield. Just then a crouching deviant appeared on the south. Melvin flew under its body and cut off its limbs. Liss ran her wing through the Titans neck.

I noticed Chris taking off and joining me. Neil reported: "No Titans in sight." The others were joining the formation, their wings steaming with Titan blood. "These people live inside these walls. I gave their commander a flare gun and told him to find a big flat field within one hour or we would fly off and return tomorrow. He was pretty happy about us saving their butts." I heard the others chuckling. "Alright! Scouts! Return home and report to Admiral Champlain. Ahmed stays with Blue Squad. We will wait one hour and look what that commander does. Ahmed, drop down to our altitude and get to the end of the line. Neil, have a safe flight. Everyone else lines up behind me! Chris, tell us what you found out about them."

"The commanders name is Erwin Smith. He is a big blonde guy with big eyebrows. He had a smaller black haired man by his side called Levi. They were on some mission to reach a city in the south and they lost so many soldiers that they had to abort the mission. They've never seen planes before and the animals they were riding are called horses. That's it. Oh and hey speak our language!" "Nothing else?" "I didn't exactly have lots of time!" "No, I meant how were they looking. Hungry, happy, sad, accepting, desperate." "Hm. Sad of course. And I guess they are desperate. I mean from what we know they lost the outer wall only some years ago." "Captain, maybe we should take precautions!" Walter said. "Yes. I think we should. If they invite us into their HQ I'll be the only one to go. And if I fire a flare you are to take off immediately." "Captain ..." "I'm not finished. Use a magnet rope to pull up my plane and I will be waiting for one of you to hoist me up." Magnet rope was also to be used as a climbing rope.

We were still discussing strategies when a flare went up leaving a trail of gray smoke and exploding into blue and white sparks like any random firework. "I am going down first and tell you how to land best."

Levi POV

These bastards were wasting our time. We had soldiers to bury and to grieve for, damn it. And standing around on a windblown field with a crutch was hurting my leg and my reputation. Humanity's strongest does not get hurt. Erwin decided to drag me along because I too have met the blond stranger in his 'airplane'. And Pixis wanted to come to since he was in charge of the walls defence. Suddenly we could hear a roar and a gray steel bird was landing. It rolled up to us and ceased to make noise. "Hello gentlemen! It's a pleasure to meet you! I am Patricia Erez, Captain of the Blue Squad. Before we start the Q&A time, could I have five minutes? I want to get the other people down here." What a snotty woman. She didn't even step down from her stupid plane. Pixis simply smiled and told her to go on. Then she started chatting into a rod that was bound to her head.

"Attention! Approaching from north to south. Park parallel to me. Keep your speed low and prepare for a bumpy ride." Then she shut up and waited smiling. What an annoying woman. She looked nothing like a woman should look like. Messy long light red hair went down to her waist in two tails. Short red bangs were falling into her tanned face. And while uniforms might not be very flattering for any womens figure this one had almost chest and her limbs were a bit too long. Summary: a woman without chest and not taking care of her hair. Six other planes appeared in the sky and landed in a (even I had to admit that) perfect way. They didn't kick up too much dust and their distances never seemed to change.

"Well done. I'm cutting the comm." The woman took her head thing off and jumped down. "Thank you for waiting." "Oh, that was no problem. I am Dot Pixis, commander of the garrison, a defensive unit. These are Commander Erwin Smith and Captain Levi of the Survey Corps. We never met humans from outside the walls before. If it is agreeable with you I'd like to talk with you in my office." "Sure. I just have one condition." Tch. A condition already? Who does she think she is? "I want one window to be open at all times." What the hell?

Patricias POV

I felt sorry for those people. They couldn't fly and that meant fighting the Titans on eye-level. How many people must have died? How many must have suffered? The three men asked me many questions. Where do you come from? Why are you here? What kind of Titans have you seen? I replied with great care, never revealing the location of the 'Voyager' and her technical details. As Chris had said, they were desperate. They had less space than us and five years ago a giant Titan had destroyed the other gate to a city and another abnormal Titan had shattered the inner gate. This 'Colossal Titan' had appeared again this very year and on their recent mission the Survey Corp met a intelligent Titan who could harden her skin at will.

"What would you do if you encountered a Titan like that?" "I would order an ODFS, an Omni-directional-falcon-swoop. It's a move where the members of a formation circle an enemy and fly in at almost the same time cutting it in various heights. If your female Titan decides to deflect the first hit, it will be killed by the others and if protects its weak spot it will be disabled for quite some time." "I see. Do you have many of these special moves?" I shrugged. "It depends about which formation you are talking. Each formation has its own tactics. Blue Squad is build for teamwork. Only the Gold Squad and we can do an ODFS."

"What are you going to do now?" "That depends on you." "On us?" "Yes. We want to be your allies. That is why we came. If you don't want our help we can fly away again. But if you want our help we would stay here until 'Voyager' arrives." Pixis looked at Commander Smith and Captain Levi. "We have to wait for the decision of the king and the Commander-in-Chief. Until then these two gentlemen will be responsible for your safety and well being."

Commander Smith and Captain Levi escorted me back. Smith returned the flare gun to me. "I have never seen a firearm like that before. Is it of any use against Titans?" "Well, this one is a flare gun made to give signals if the communication is dead. The marine uses big cannons like yours, but I know only one person who uses firearms to kill a Titan." The commander and I talked a bit about the ways to kill Titans. Captain Levi only talked when he was asked something. I noticed that we were walking sorted after height. Tall Commander Smith on my right. Me. And Captain Levi, who was a few centimetres shorter than me (about 7 cm; 2.7 inches), to my left.

What I saw at the landing place made me face-palm. While I was gone my dear squad made some friends with the locals and decided to hold a little tea party. Now ten people hung upside down from the back of a planes wing and drunk their tea with straws. Chris welcomed me back: "Captain! How wonderful to see you back unharmed! You want some tea? There is one mug left. It's peppermint by the way." "Are you serious about this?" All heads were nodding. "Drinking tea with a straw is better because the tea gets cooler faster." "That wasn't what I meant." A rough voice interrupted us. "Was this made with dried peppermint?" Levi held my mug. "Yes. The fresh ones spoil too fast." He took a glup from my mug. "The tea is better when the leaves are fresh." "That. Is. My. Tea!" "Really?" He took another mouthful. "Not anymore." The world hates me.


	5. Chapter 5- Staying & Training

We were supposed to stay with the Survey Corps. After all we saved their sorry asses, though I wouldn't mind if we hadn't saved Captain Levi. I do not forgive someone stealing my tea! And it was peppermint! My favourite! Please, Patricia, calm down. Being angry is bad for your health. The first thing I did after claiming the upper bed in my sleeping room was to store away my little baggage. I probably had more weapons than clothing. Someone knocked. "Come in." "Captain Erez. Would you please come down? There are people I would like you to meet." "Just let me finish here." I pulled two long thin knifes out of my boots. My jacked laid on Melissas bed (the lower one). I hear Commander Smith chuckling. "And Levi wondered why they let you negotiate alone and 'unarmed'. All this time you were a walking arsenal." Two months ago I noticed that I always felt cold so I asked for a winter uniform. The thick padding was a good hiding place for weapons. "I told Chris that four guns, ten different knifes and two compressible metal sticks were overkill. I only wanted the sticks."

The eating/living room was filled with people. My teammates were already chatting with the locals. There were the people from earlier, a little blond boy, a brown haired girl, a dark blond man and a really short blond girl. Names were exchanged, they thanked us and we talked ... a lot. The only persons I remembered were Captain Hange Zoe and a brown hair kid with a bandage around his head. Eren was a bit down. A black haired girl told me he was in the middle of all fighting, saw his teammates dying in front of his eyes and was almost eaten by a Titan.

How do you cheer up a kid who has just experienced his worst nightmare? "How do you feel?" "Horrible. I ... I should have done something." "Could you have saved them?" "I don't know. ... Have you seen friends die?" Oh, god! I wanted to cheer this boy up and now he was making me feeling miserable. "Twelve years ago all of SC air-force, including my late formation and I, went on a mission. It was supposed to be the biggest operation mankind has ever done. In those two weeks I lost almost all of my friends. Half of the trainee class I was in died." I took out a medal. "This reminds of what they have done for humanity and me. It reminds me of their hope for a better future." "How did you manage to go on after that?" "I looked at the people around me. Someone has to protect them and their smiles. I do this because their smiles make me happy."

The first deduction I was able to make in the morning was: damn these people rise early. The sun was barley over the horizon and the Survey Corp HQ was buzzing with activity. And while I was eating my breakfast this Shorty walks up to me and says: "Erwin wants for you try 3DMG. Get your ass moving." Huh? Do I know this bad mouthed Shorty? Tick-tock, Tick-tock, brain, get a move on! "After I finished my breakfast." I wanted to take another bite of my bread but Shorty-Levi grabbed my arm. "I said get moving. Now." "You really aren't a morning person either." I drowned my medication with the rest of my tea. "Fine. Just stop being pissed off. Guys." I yawned and stretched. "We're moving."

I don't really hate mornings. It's just that now I need more sleep than before. To Captain Levis speech on how to use the 3DMG I listened with only one ear. Of course when it came down to assembling and wearing the stupid thing I was hopeless. My salvation came in form of a green eyed teen. Eren got his bandage off this morning but wasn't allowed to wash his head. Some of his blood was still clinging to his hair. Finally all pilots were ready to be pulled up on some training crane. Apart from our Survey Corps escorts we had some audience in form of trainees. "What the hell?! How can you do this?!" "Hm?" Oh. I just left the ground and was dangling by two ropes. "Is it that difficult for you?" Everyone of Blue Squad was hanging upright. Ahmed even went so far as to somersault in his gear. I yawned again.

Being a whiz at simply hanging in the 3DMG does not mean you can actually use it. I am absolutely horrible at using it. Somehow I always end up tangled in my own ropes! I have no idea how this is happening! Two ropes. You shoot your rope at some random tree the hooks sink themselves into the wood and you get pulled by the rope. The physics of using the 3DMG aren't hard to understand. Captain I'm-so-smart Levi said I retracted the hooks too late. One time I pulled them back too early and crashed into the ground. It hurt very badly but I didn't break a bone. "What are you doing Erez?! Do you think the Titans will ignore you 'cause you look like a fly in a spider web?" I glared at him and untangled me in three seconds. At least I perfected my rope-escaping skills.

While the others trained to use the swords and to move in a group without hindering each other, I spent my time literally hanging around. After some hours the sky turned red and the others returned to get me for dinner. "Oi! Watch it!" Ahmed jumped out of nowhere and almost had me crashing into a tree. "Sorry." "So you haven't made any progress. You are really incompetent." I retorted smiling: "Actually I found a way of quickly tying my to a tree in a way that would allow me to sleep!" "How old are you? Fourteen?" "Has no one told you to never ask for a womans age?" Captain Levi simply made his favourite 'tch' sound and jumped off. Life is really unfair. Healthy me can't use this gear, but that Shorty is able to use it even though his leg is disabled by a splint.

In the end Walter gave me a piggy-back ride home. Just as I stripped myself of the gear a brown haired Titan-maniac ran up to me. "Patricia! Nee, since you can fly, could we maybe make a spin over Titan territory tomorrow? Pretty pretty please! This is a unique chance for me to see Titans undisturbed by humans in their natural habitat! It'll benefit my research!" Since when were we on first name terms? "Uhm, sure. But do you have windproof clothing?" "That is indeed a problem." She laid an arm over my shoulders. "Can you lend me some?"

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I know Hanges gender is not confirmed in the manga, but since I only watched the anime I'll make her a woman (I have to use pronouns sometimes, don't I?). Patricia is three centimetres smaller than Hange so they should have (almost?) the same clothes size.

I almost forgot that Levi hurt his leg. A genius like him should be able to use the 3DMG even with a stiff leg, don't you think? It's not like he's fighting Titans. He's just teaching some 'trainees'.

And I want to thank the two persons who have reviewed! I was ecstatic to hear that some people really like this story! THANK YOU!


	6. Chapter 6- Respect

Dear readers,

While real planes have things like radar, my fictional pilots use compass and their eyes. That means the fictional planes have less displays and in order make them smaller the technicians have decided for the pilots to lie on their front (like on a motorbike) and be secured with security belts that run over their back. The planes are steered by joysticks.

The Blue Squad members are: Captain Patricia Erez; Lieutenant Christoph (Chris) Globe; Lieutenant Melvin Zecher; Lieutenant Melissa (Liss) Housson; Lieutenant Walter Bauer; Lieutenant Eric Chang; Cadet Ahmed

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"RISE AND SHINE! OUCH!" *thump* WHAT the HELL! Hange sat on the ground rubbing her head. Melissa was sleepily turning around. I sat with a stick in my hand and was trying to figure out what happened. "You can hit really hard, Patricia." Aha! Now it made sense! Hange stormed into the sleeping room and was trying to shake/yell me awake when my self-defence reflexes took over and I knocked her down with a stick. Yes, I slept with a stick in my reach. I always do. Being almost murdered in my sleep once was enough. "Why are you here?" "You promised to take my flying." "Yes, Hange, I did. But you won't be able see Titans when it's still dark!"

"And don't you use your ability! Keep an eye on the fuel and come back before the tank is empty!" "Yes my babysitter." I was wrestling with the security belts. "Hange, pull a bit more." The belt gave a click. "And now pull it as tight as possible." "Are you going to be okay like this?" I was sandwiched between her and the plane. "Yeah. I've had worse." "Pat, promise me!" "I already did, Chris! And don't 'Pat' me. Starting computer. Fuel checked. Engines checked. Breakes." I looked at the moving breaking-fins. "Checked. Pitch elevator checked. Yaw rudder checked. The weather is good. Here we go." The rotors started moving as did the plane. "See you later!"

After using the air convections above the wall to gain height we flew south. Now I really regretted giving Hange a voice recorder. She was talking non-stop. Sometimes she would ask me to circle a bit above a certain Titan, but her actual objective was to see a district in the south called Shiganshina. The amount of destruction was unbelivable. Most buildings were shattered. Some were knocked into the river making little artificial lakes. Nature was already taking back what the humans once claimed. Some deer were drinking out of the river.

After Hange has described Shiganshina we headed back. Even on our way back she was talking and talking and talking. Honestly, I was glad when we landed. Hange almost crushed me with her bear-hug. "Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this has helped me!" "N-no problem." "I'll leave your uniform on your bed! See ya!" Air! Wonderful sweet air! Now where are my friends? I ran through the woods we were training in yesterday. There was no sign of them. I probably searched for one hour until I found them on the training grounds doing hand-to-hand combat and weapon combat. "The Captain's back!" I started to wave and wanted to say hi, but I sneezed instead. "Cheers!" And again. "Cheers." A third time. "Cheers?" *achoo* "Are you okay?" *sneeze* "Captain?" *atchoo*

After I had calmed down, I joined them. My bare hand-to-hand combat skills were quite good, but I was afraid to hurt anyone. "Is there anything you can do properly, Erez? I am really curious how someone useless like you became a captain." "Like you're in a position to say something like that. You can't even properly walk." Suddenly someone touched my shoulder. I spun around, scared to death and prepared to properly slap this person. Eric caught my hand before it reached his face. He smiled. "Ohmygod! Don't scare me like that." He held two sticks out to me. "I don't think that's a good idea." He still smiled. "Okay, okay, I give in." Holding one stick in each hand I faced him.

Levi POV

Now what? Why is her faithful dog calling the others back? There is enough space for everyone to train. Tch. He probably does this so that she can show off. Pathetic. Erez and Chang started fighting. "Are they trying to kill each other?!" Armin asked, horrified by the ferocity with which they fought. It's a wonder that their wooden staffs didn't break yet. Maybe that woman isn't so useless. She would fit in at the Military Police.

"Well, how should I explain this? The Captain can't spar like we do. That's why Eric fights her. He is the only one who can take her out." Somehow I can believe that. Erez is jumping, turning, attacking and defending at an incredible speed. Chang on the other hand was only moving to block her attacks. I admit I am slightly curious about that look in her golden eyes. I've seen people fighting. Some had fun, some were concentrating. I've seen tired eyes, angry eyes and nervous eyes. But I've never seen her eyes.

Globe left them to fight for ten minutes. The force of Erez' hits left marks in the ground. She didn't seem to tire. When Globe nodded at Chang, the tall man took out his superior with one hit to her neck and put her over his shoulder. "The Captain will be out for some time. You have the place all to yourself." Armin went up to the man and asked him: "Why does she fight like this?"

Seeing that the other soldiers too were interested he said: "Someone tried to kill her. She wanted to disable the person but he fell badly and died. It wasn't her fault but she believes it was. She thinks that if she can't control her emotions in a fight she will kill again." "And why is she fighting with the silent guy?" "Cadet Arlet. His name is Eric Chang. He is a Lieutenant and you will address him like a superior officer!" "Yes, Sir." "Eric's fighting silent. She can't hear him or anticipate his moves. He on the other hand can read what she's going to do next and thus block her moves. He is the only person she can fight with."

Finally we went back to the HQ. Watching people spar and not being able to really pisses me off. I was the last one to arrive at the building and someone was waiting for me. The look Melvin Zecher gave me told me he meant buisiness. Jumping on a crippled person (not that I want to use my injury as excuse) was something only a coward did. "I want you to stop calling her names." "What?" "The Captain. Stop calling her useless. If I had to choose between humanity's strongest soldiers I would follow her. You don't deserve to be called humanity's strongest." "Oh really? As if you'd know." "I know because she got her title for saving people and not for killing humans. I respect her because she treats everyone with respect and accepts their opinions. I believe I her because she is not afraid to get hurt." He ran his hand through his brown hair. "But her happy attitude is annoying." "Maybe you should just go and tell her what you told me. Stop wasting my time." "Oh, I did. She said it's her way to deal with life. It's her way to encourage us and protect us from despair. She rather hurts herself than leave someone to get hurt. That's the kind of person she is."


	7. Chapter 7- Pancakes and two days of R&R

In case somebody does not know what R&R means, it's Rest & Recreation. I noticed something. There is almost no electricity inside the walls. I've found some street lanterns in Siena (But they don't have to be powered by electricity) and I have no idea how the ships are powered. Apart from that I have seen many candles, horse-drawn carriages and Erens home (episode 1) had a well inside.

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Patricia POV

Eric knocked me out really well. I went from being unconscious to being asleep without waking. In fact I got up quite early. The sun hadn't risen yet and I used my stick to find my way down where I hoped a candle and some matches would be. I found both and with Captain Levi on top. Not literally. Shorty was writing some reports I guess. "Why is a sleepyhead like you running around? Are you sleepwalking?" "No, not at all. I just woke up." I took a candle holder and lighted them. "Did you have breakfast yet?" "That does not concern you." "If you think so. No pancakes for you." I went into the next room which was the kitchen, if you can call a room without electricity a kitchen. "Where do you keep eggs?" "How should I know?" "Do you never cook?" "No." Great.

Some minutes later I stood hugging a bowl with egg white and beating it furiously. "Stop making so much noise." "Sorry. I've never beaten egg white without a kitchen machine." ... ... "You could help, you know." "Why should I?" "Because you are a nice person?" "How about 'No'?" "Captain Levi won't get any pancakes." Beating egg white was much harder than I thought. I cut up some fruits and mixed honey and water as substitute for marble syrup. Only when the cold things were finished and the table was set, I heated the stove. Somewhere around my 12th pancake I heard Hange saying: "Something smell delicous." It didn't take long for 17 (18 if you count Levi) to gather around the table. "Three pancakes for everyone."

Levi POV

I didn't get this woman. I insulted her and she didn't even flinch. And what was that pancake thing about? Hah, I bet the kitchen is a mess. While those idiots enjoyed their food I walked over to inspect the kitchen. Had I found even one piece of dirt I would have made Erez clean the whole house. To my surprise the kitchen was clean. Only a dish with two of those pancakes and a little paper on top was sitting on a table. I approached it and read the paper: "I knew you would come and look how dirty the kitchen is! Not bad, huh? I had two pancakes to much so shut up and eat." They tasted good, not that I'd tell her. But they were a bit dry, probably because I didn't have any of this syrup.

Patricia POV

Since I made the pancakes I had the others wash the plates. And for not telling me earlier that today and tomorrow we would be left by ourselves because the Survey Corps had some kind of important mission I had them change the sheets and wash while I enjoyed the sunshine. Then I joined them at washing our clothes and cleaning the HQ. It's not like we were clean freaks like Captain Shorty but we did grow up in a place where we had electricity, vacuum cleaners and washing machines in every house.

Today Melvin and Melissa were cooking dinner. I smiled at them first quarrelling about what ingredients they would use and then working hand in hand. They had changed so much. When I met Melvin for the first time he was as unsociable as Captain Shorty. He never cared about what other people were doing and was never afraid to speak his mind. His mind-to-mouth censorship was even worse than a three year olds. Liss on the other hand was shy like hell. To get her speaking was an accomplishment on its own. Pairing those two was like pairing fire and ice. But somehow they got along. Liss started to like him because they could talk about literally everything. Melvin liked her because she listened and cared about his opinion. And they both were singing. When they found out that Walter was playing the piano they pestered him into playing for them.

The next day we had got a delivery. Admiral Champlain sent a scout to literally drop us our new orders. The scout found our landing site and shot a flare. We shot another flare as answer but instead of landing the scout dropped a parachute with an envelope. And the letter said: "We will be arriving in two days. I hope you behaved well. Admiral Champlain." Talk about a man of few words. But it really made me happy because in two days I would be able to have a nice long warm shower.

After I told Commander Erwin, who said he would tell Commander Pixis and the other officials, I spent the rest of the day hanging out. I meant hanging outside. I took a pillow and slept four meters above the ground on a tree branch.

 _"Daddy, when I'm bigger I want to fly like a bird!" The red haired man looked at me with his golden eyes. "You can't do that, Patty. You are too heavy." I pouted. "Daddy, are you calling me fat?" "Haha, no darling, of course not! Didn't you know that weight has nothing to do with being fat? Muscles are heavier than fat. Anyway you are too heavy because of your bones. You can't do anything about that." "Do birds have no bones?" "They do, but theirs are hollow." "Like bamboo?" "Like bamboo." The dream became fuzzier, less real. Dad went over to fix his glider. "Are we going to fly somewhere?" "Not yet. But there is a mountain range that I've always wanted to see."_

And that was when the shouting woke me. "What do you think you're doing, Erez? Are you a fucking squirrel?" "Good morning to you too!" "Good morning, my ass. It's almost evening." "Oh! That's why it smells like food." Something happened. They didn't look very happy. I swung myself down. "Anyway, I got a letter. Two days from now 'Voygager' will arrive here. We can start you pilot training then."


	8. Chapter 8- Diplomacy

I guess this was the start of the craziest week I've ever had. Let's start at 'Voyager's arrival. That stupid ship didn't fit through the gates or the streets behind said gate. 'Voyager' had to stay outside. That meant that our comrades had to climb the wall somehow, because the gates couldn't be left open. Cracking that nut was very exciting for the Yellow Formation (also called the Geek Squad or Tinker Squad). They modify their planes and really love any kind of technical challenge. It took one day for them to come up with an elevator and build it.

Meanwhile I accompanied the commanders Erwin and Pixis, who were showing the Admiral and the other captains around. While Admiral Champlain rarely talked it wasn't easy to get Daniel Bowers to shut up. The Captain of the Yellow Squad was curious by nature (and very horrified to see the lack of electricity). He might be the most annoying person around but he left a lingering expression.

It was 'Tour the Wall' day. Commander Pixis showed off his precious wall with its cannons and soldiers when a three meter Titan appeared. While the Garrison soldiers were shouting around and mostly missing the target, Daniel pulled out his rifle (a very big and bulky rifle; he keeps it on his back and has it always with him for safety reasons) and shot the Titan in his chest just above the collarbone. You think firearms don't work against Titans? Meet Daniel and his arsenal of bullet shaped grenades. The Titans upper body was blown into bits. "That was no gunpowder." "No. It's an experiment. That was a Sodium bullet. Is there another one left? ... No? That's a shame. I wanted to try the H2-O2 bullets." The Garrison soldiers stared at him for quite a while.

I spent this evening trying to convince Daniel that my squad members most certainly do not need his help while cooking. Daniel is not allowed to go into any kitchen and it vexed him not being allowed to. Once he had been an excellent chef. That was before he decided, in case the chemistry lab is occupied he would simply use the kitchen. Long story short, he blew up two kitchens and wrecked the pots in another.

Helen Smith, who was not related to Commander Erwin, was a completely different type of person. She was diligent, empathic, a good team player and had her way with words. When she was younger she wanted to be a writer. Her parents made her join the air-force and surprisingly she found another love: martial arts and her husband. On day three we met with representatives of all major military and politic factions. I had no idea what they were talking about, but the talks went well. And then this tall baldy stepped up, whining how we had defiled the 'wall gods' by attaching a contraption and how we were not real humans, because there were no humans outside of the walls, and so on. I didn't listen to him. I was tired and bored.

Helen stepped up and told that man if he cares so much about his 'wall gods' he should go out and protect them. She said the elevator was a better solution than taking a bit of wall down and sealing it again. And for that not-real-humans part she quoted some ancient writer (Wobblyspear or Shakyspear? I forgot.) " _Do we not have eyes? Do we not have hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; we eat the same food, we are hurt by the same weapons as you are? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?_ " Are we not humans like you? Now that shut him up.

On the fourth day Admiral Champlain called me into his office. His facial expression told me everything I needed to know. The Admiral hadn't liked what these people could do. "Please sit, Captain. Before I talk to the officials I wanted to talk with you. To tell you the truth these humans will be a liability to us. We are superior in everything and while I wouldn't mind sharing our tech, someone would have to stay behind and teach them to use it. And the SC would have to supply these people until they have built the sufficient infrastructure. I cannot see our government or our military supporting an alliance. I am sorry."

I don't know what hurt more, that he didn't want to help these humans or his reasons. They are living breathing humans, damn it! We can't even evacuate them! "Sir, with all due respect, but you shouldn't be apologizing to me, but to those people who will suffer because of your decision!" To his defense, he looked very miserable. I .. I can't believe that we will now leave because we deem them to be too weak. I guess I have to bet everything on this one card. "Sir, if the Survey Corp has still an ace up on their sleeve. They didn't want to show this to you, because they thought you might draw the wrong conclusions or formulate terms for this alliance. Please come tomorrow at eight to the Survey Corp HQ. I will convince Commander Smith to show you his trump card and maybe ... just maybe you could reconsider your decision."

I ran at full speed to Commander Erwins office. At first his little secretary didn't want to let me in, but I screamed at her so loudly that Commander Erwin had to let me in, because he could not work anymore. I told him about what the Admiral had said. "This is most troubling. We had high expectations for this alliance." "I want you to show him Erens powers." "No! There are too many variables." "Like the Admiral wanting for Eren to come to the Southern Continent to be examined by more sophisticated equipment? Or are you afraid that Eren will not be able to create a Titan?" "Both, actually." "It's a gamble, alright, but what is the alternative? Those who fight can lose, but those who do not fight cannot win." He thought about it for a moment and said: "I will talk to Eren." "Thank you." I turned around to leave when he asked: "Why are you doing this?" "What do you mean?" "You are risking you career for strangers. Maybe you even risked imprisonment for us. Why?" "Because that's who I am. Because I believe that stronger people should look out for the weaker ones. Because I don't want to die without having accomplished something."

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Sodium reacts violently with water. Do not try it at home. H2/O2 is also known as detonating or exploding gas. The quote in italic is from Shakespears "Merchant of Venice". I changed the lines only to fit my story.


	9. Chapter 9- Stretching your wings

Finally there was something Admiral Champlain found interesting. It had taken some time for Eren to transform, but his Titan was fully functional and didn't try to eat us. When the Admiral saw that Eren was able to follow commands he became quite interested in this Shifter ability. The trump card has changed Champlains opinion of these people. He might not consider them valuable assets in battle, but they were closer to solving the mystery about the Titans than we. That alone made them valuable enough.

Suddenly the negotiations came along quickly. Apparently the officials had not informed the general population about our arrival, so now they asked for some time to let the news spread through the districts. Even though the official treaties were to be signed in one week, we were already moving our equipment. The Blue Formation would stay here and train the first air-force formation of the walled people. At the same time we were to help them with their expeditions.

But first things first. I had promised our Survey Corp friends that we were going to teach them to pilot a plane as soon as we got the necessary planes. Training-planes were special planes with two seats having control (but only the teachers seat can enable the students control). 'Voyager' had ten of them stored in her cargo area and I asked for seven of them. Choosing the first batch of people was more difficult. I divided them into team one and team 2. In Team one were Captain Levi, Eren, Armin, Krista, Sasha and Rainer; Team two were Captain Hange, Mikasa, Connie, Ymir, Berthold, and Jean. I intentionally split the usual pairs, because I didn't want them interfering with each other. Commander Erwin said that he didn't have time to learn because of his duties.

And on a sunny calm morning we started training. "We will fly independent of each other. In these two hours the goal is for you to get used to the height and to the planes controls. The mentors will handle the taking-off and landing. As long as you don't do anything dangerous, they will not interfere. Questions?" None. "Good. Then let's go."

Captain Shorty was probably the most difficult person I've ever taught. He always talked back and I had to explain every single thing and why it's done this way. We were the last to take off. And again I was unable to notice whether he was afraid of heights or the fact, that a foreign air-craft was the only thing keeping him alive. "I am enabling your controlling system. Try to vary speed and fly some loops and slaloms." Levi was very good at flying loops and circles, but he was unable to fly straight. His 'straight ahead' was more like a miniature slalom.

"You won't be able to kill Titans that way, you know?" "Shut up, woman! It's not like I'm planning to change my way of fighting! After all you are as horrible with the 3DMG as I am on a plane. And I find flying boring." "Too bad that today is a boring weather. Next time when there is more wind I'll show you what actual flying is like." Sasha crossed our flight path and broke Levis concentration broke. The plane wobbled around. "And now you are dead." He shot me a confused look. "Well, you just crashed with someone of your formation." He snorted. "Have your eyes gone bad? There is no one here." "Not yet. Not yet, Shorty." "What did you call me?" "Shorty. Eyes ahead and try to fly straight. Even Armin flies better that you."

At first I thought that poor Armin wouldn't make it. When he looked down he screamed like a teenage girl. Liss did exactly what I would have done. She left him to scream and flew loops, sharp turns and varied her altitude. For someone who screams like he's going to die there are only two options: either you leave him on the ground or you show him that there is nothing to fear. After his voice went hoarse and the adrenalin left his bloodstream he noticed that he hasn't died yet and that his mentor actually was a quite capable person.

Most of the others were what we call 'normal'. Unafraid, but not exceptional gifted. Only Sasha was a natural pilot. Later she told me that she came from a hunters' village. She was flying like a raptor. She held her plane still, but was also able to react quickly like a snake or falcon. Her talent earned her a smile from Melvin (and I'm telling you getting that guy to smile is almost impossible).

I didn't train Hange for a very good reason. I feel more alive in the air than on the ground. If you put two hyper people together the results are catastrophic. We'd probably fly off somewhere, Hange shouting and squealing about the Titans and making me hyper too. And a hyper Patricia is the last thing you want, because hyper Patricia flies like crazy. So I made Chris go with Hange and I taught Ymir. Ymir was reluctant to do anything and cleared her exercises easily. She was distant with everyone except Krista. I don't think that she would perform well in a formation. On the other hand Melvin was almost the same and he fit in very well. Somehow I can't figure this woman out.

Daniel had his squad set up two loading stations for fuel. Yellow squad built one on the river to use it to generate electricity. The second one was closer to our landing site and had to be operated by a human or preferably a horse. Armin spent a lot of time with the Yellow Squad. Whenever someone of the Yellow Squad had nothing to do, they would teach Armin about physics or chemistry. Sometimes Krista would join him (with Ymir hanging on her heels of course) or Armin would bring a device back to the HQ and teach the other soldier what it can do and why.

Finally the day came on which the treaties were to be signed. The Wall people went all out on this day. First of all the official ceremony would be held on 10 am. Then in the evening there would be some kind of big celebration, like a ball or something. While most common people did not take part in these festivities, all civilians got an extra share of food (sponsored by the King. I guess he would do anything to boost his popularity).

I loved my parade uniform. I like coats in general. I think they are very cool looking. But I love the parade coats even more, because each elite squad has its colors on the back (blue and silver for us). These uniforms were not made for fighting. Black riding boots, white pants with a brown leather belt and a rapier hilt and scabbard (but without a blade in it), a white shirt and the shiny black coat. Luckily there was a mirror in the bathroom, so I was able to put on my insignia and medal by myself. The funniest things were the expressions on our friends' faces. They were a bit shocked. When I saw them wearing their standard uniforms I asked: "Don't you have parade uniforms?"

"What's with that flashy getup?" "It's called a parade uniform. It's supposed to be flashy." "Tch. Wearing something like that when it's pouring outside." Yep, it was raining hard. I mean really hard, but there was no wind. Yesterday the sky was cloudy and so I asked Helen for a favour. I put this favour in one corner of the living room with a notice 'Please do not touch.' on it. They were still sitting where I left them. I handed them out to my squad. "Oi, are you coming or what?" "Just a sec, mister bossy." Before I stepped outside I unfolded the umbrella. "I guess I'll have to clean my shoes later."

We must have been a funny picture. The Survey Corp in their green capes stomping through the rain and Captain Levi always complaining about how this fucking rain messed up his uniform. Following them was a bunch of flashy soldiers with umbrellas in pink, neon green or red.

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An insignia shows your rank. I almost would have written 'pips', because that's the way the insignias are called in Star Trek. XD

 **Important note (story):** Chapter 12 will conclude the arrival arc (Yes, I've written it already, but I won't post it 'cause if I don't feel like writing I am still able to upload a chapter). After that chapter I want to write 5-10 chapters about their daily life and one or two special chapters about my OCs pasts. If there is anything you'd like to have written (no sexual Patricia x Levi) then drop me a line.

After the short stories I will follow the manga again, only that I will have larger gaps between the arcs, if it's possible.


	10. Chapter 10- Water and song

The signing was boring. If my life since appearing here was a television show, Darius Zacklys speech would have made a perfect 'what happened before' summary. Then Admiral Champlain read the terms of the treaty. After that came the signing. Four parchments (two for each ally, because one could get lost or something) held now the signatures of Darius Zackly, Nile Dok, Dot Pixis, Erwin Smith, Thomas Champlain, Helena Smith, Daniel Bowers and myself. At last we sang our anthem. The wall people were a bit confused since they didn't have something like this (this fact caused great confusion among our people). Finally we were allowed to go to prepare for this evenings party.

If there is something I hate is social parties. I am more of a direct person. The people who I mostly see on this kind of events are the ones that read between the lines and say one thing but actually want to say something else. They confuse me. And that's why I don't pay special attention to my appearance. "This won't do." I don't care. "Really Trish. This is an important party." Melissa does care. "You can't go there looking like that." "What's wrong with this?" I said gesturing to my knee long soft purple dress. Good thing that it didn't have much cleavage. Because of my small boobs anything else looks terrible. That's my opinion. Melissa thinks otherwise. "The dress looks good on you, but look at your hair." My hair. I liked it the way it was. "You look like a drowned cat. And now sit!" I know better than to argue with Liss, especially when it comes to styling. I heard the clicking of scissors. Oh my god. Help me.

Liss only cut the hair tips and put the rest up in a tail. "Now it looks like more hair." And she braided my uneven bangs so that they didn't fall into my face anymore. I asked Melissa: "Are you really going to wear these shoes?" 'These shoes' were stiletto heels, not the highest I have seen, but I still marvel at how she can walk like this. "They are good for self-defence. The heels are almost like little daggers and me stepping on someones feet hurts more." I laughed. "What? What's so funny?" "Me-melissa. The little ... little shy girl ... steps on the feet ... of men she dislikes. You really have changed!" Some years ago she would never have worn heels and a black glittering dress. It went well together with her black hair. "Come on. The boys are waiting. Do you need help at the stairs?"

I envied the male population. Choosing a suit, a tie (or bowtie or cravat) and black shoes was much easier that finding a nice dress. I wish I was a man. As I predicted the five gentlemen were already waiting alongside the other gentlemen from the Survey Corp. Sasha and Krista were still missing. When Chris noticed us he whistled. "You two are looking great!" Melissa immediately blushed and her gait became instable. "Oh shut up. Your bowtie is crooked by the way." I told him jokingly. I straightened it and checked the other guys for flaws in their attire. A captain has to make sure that her subordinates are dressed properly. The only person who messed up his tie was Ahmed. Well, he was only thirteen so it was understandable. I taught him how to bind his tie until Sasha and Krista came down. They both were very pretty with their blouses and skirts. Especially Krista looked like a little doll.

The part was nice, I guess. I didn't care much for the civilians, who were aristocrats and merchants. I had a nice chat with Commander Erwin and Commander Pixis, but that's about it. I watched the sun set. I always thought that the sun itself wasn't that interesting, but the colour of the sky was. The yellowish sky was covered in small puffy gray clouds. It reminded me a bit of the seas surface. If the clouds don't disappear we might be able to go 'cloudhopping' tomorrow. Naturally there are people who can't leave others alone, especially if these others are women.

Three drunken men (they weren't stumbling around yet, but they smelled of booze) tried to make small-talk starting with: "The weather is nice, isn't it?" When I said yes the man answered: "Well, if you ask me you are more beautiful than todays sunset. Say, aren't you the strongest captain of the pilots?" "Yes, I am. And who might you be?" Curse my upbringing. _Always be polite. Just because others are rude, you don't have to be too. Remember that you are better than them._ And because of my politeness I am now stuck with these stupid aristocrats.

"Hey. Stop bothering the lady." The three men turned around and became stuttering wrecks when they saw Captain Levi. "Buzz off before I hit you." How does this ruffian know the word 'lady'? "Are you okay?" "Yes. Thank you ... I guess." "What's with the 'I guess'? Did you want to talk with them?" "Nah." I looked at the two glasses he held in his hands. "I bet Commander Erwin told you to be polite and make a good impression." "He did. Now drink." I sniffed at the liquid. "Does it contain alcohol?" "Tch. It's Champaign. Of course it does." "I'm sorry." I said with an apologetic smile. "I can't drink." "Tch." Levi grabbed my glass and placed it with a 'thud' on a table.

"Shit. And now what?" "I'm waiting for Melissa to sing. You can wait here with me or go off." "And be bothered by other people. Hell no." We stood there for five minutes when I felt a gaze on us. Commander Erwin was watching us, probably to make sure that Levi was socializing. "Why can't eyebrows keep to his business?" "I guess he is worried about your behaviour and reputation." "Tch. I don't need a babysitter." Again time passed and Erwins gaze only got stronger. And Levi got more pissed off. Then he snapped. "We are going to dance." The Shorty simply pulled me along. "Oi! I can't dance this style." "It isn't hard. You only need to follow. You can do at least that, can't you?" We started dancing and I was happy that I didn't step on Levis shoes.

Melissa started singing around ten pm. I watched from my place at the window. She sings so magnificent that you just want to sing along, but you stop yourself because you know that your voice is not pretty enough. "And that's what you were waiting for?" I simply nodded. Again Levi held two glasses in his hands. "It's water." "Thanks." ... "This might be the last time I hear her singing." "Why?" "I too am a soldier. I could die anytime. Our planes don't save us from death you know." Liar. I told a white lie again. I wonder what hurts more. Being told a lie and finding out the truth much, much later or being told the truth and suffering because of something you can't change. I don't even know what I would prefer.


	11. Chapter 11- Cloudhopping

I know that mo times clouds are very high up in the sky and it's pretty cold up there and the air is thin. But I kinda liked the idea of cloudhopping and this time I'll use the 'it's just a story'-excuse. And you should look up a cool fast song to listen to. It really sets the mood!

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I had hoped that the clouds would stay. After a summer rain it is never certain whether the puffy specks of white dissolve or move on. Luckily the sky has gotten even cloudier. Instead of a blue sky with white dots I looked up at a greyish sky. The sun had just risen and I wanted to check the situation above the clouds, because if some storm clouds were hidden above them, we would be in big trouble.

As I emerged from the clouds I saw that I had been worrying for nothing. The sky was once again unblemished blue. Out of the cloud blanket some cloud formation reached into the sky. The wind was not to strong and the sun warmed my back. I smiled. I was racing over the sky. The blue atmosphere above and the white condensing water under me made this world seem endless. I weaved between the tall cloud spires and dipped the edges of my wings into the wet gray fog. I circled a tall cloud rising higher and higher and after I crossed its summit I plunged myself down. I dived into the cloudy cover and emerged leaving a trail of white mist. Again I rise up against the endless blue. No one to stop me! No one to hold me back! I felt alive! Truly and utterly alive!

I slammed the door open. "Yo, lazy bones! Today is a perfect day for cloudhopping. Attendance is voluntary, but we only have seven free spots and it's first come first serve!" "I'll go!" "Ah, me too!" "Do you want to go, Eren?" "I'll stick to the ground to day." "I see." Ten minutes later we had five people, namely Sasha, Connie, Armin, Rainer and Berthold. As I guessed Hange was ecstatic to come. "And volunteer Captain Shorty here too!" "Don't just go and volunteer people as you like, shitty glasses." "But it's going to be fun! And I heard that you still need some training!" "Shut up." "If you go I won't bother you for one week." Levis eyebrows twitched. "And I'll give you my tea rations." "Tch. Don't you feel pathetic resorting to bribery."

"The formation will rise in a closed manner." I watched as our shapes formed a triangle. I led them up through the clouds. Levi muttered something about sticky and wet stuff. The others were rather amazed by the clouds. When we emerged I quickly surveyed the situation and started with my introduction words: "Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the first cloudhopping above the wall! In particular I welcome our friends from the Survey Corp, for whom this will be the first cloud hopping ever! Since it's ladies first Liss will lead the first ride! Let's go!"

Levis POV

What the fuck is wrong with them? What the fuck is this 'cloudhopping'? And this freaky announcement! All seven planes made a loop. Their distances were not changing. I'll admit that they are good pilots, but sometimes they act like retards. Then Melissa started to speak: "Hostile castle at east south-east!" All I see are clouds. Just some big ass clouds! "Friends! Allies! We will storm this castle!" Her announcement was greeted by war cries. I regretted coming up here. "We will take their treasures!" War cries. I shouldn't let have Hange bribe me. "We will be victorious!" War cries. Not for all the tea in the world. "ATTACK!" They accelerated and regrouped behind Melissas plane. While following her they were shouting and joking as if they were to attack a real enemy the pilots raced towards a huge lump of clouds. All seven planes passed through the clouds and as they emerged the pilots were laughing.

Patricias POV

Nothing beats cloudhopping! I love the way we can attack enemies that only exist in our fantasy! I love the way everyone falls into place around their ride-leader and copy their movements! I love how our flying style looks chaotic when in reality it is organised. Cloudhopping is a game for show-offs, storytellers and friends.

Liss appointed Eric as ride-leader. His bass was droning through the headphones. "Pirate ship dead west. Sailors of the marine! Do we allow piracy?" The answer came in a chorus: "NO SIR!" "Shall they face just punishment?" "YES SIR!" "Will we let them escape?" "NO SIR!" "ATTACK!" "YAHOOOO!"All planes accelerated and burst through the clouds.

Walter immediately took over as ride-leader. "Fellow Pirates!" We non-wall people laughed. There we go from being honourable sailors to pirates! "We are conquerors of the cloudy ocean! We are masters of our destiny! We are the free! No one will hold us down! Let's show them who is superior! ATTACK!" "YEEHA!" Even our wall-friends shouted along with us. Twirling and spinning, we constantly kept changing places, racing over the sky.

Ahmed took us hunting a 'stag' through a 'forest'. Chris made us evade 'bullets' from a 'hostile squad' before we 'took down' their flying 'antiaircraft gun'. Melvin led us to the 'end of the world' (which was a wall made up of rain clouds) and there we surfed on air currents, showing off our moves. I kept an eye on Captain Levi. Fortunately he didn't seem to be scared or getting sick any time soon. He almost seemed to be torn between being annoyed by us grown-ups behaving like children and actually having fun.

And that was where Melvin transferred the ride-leader title to me. "Enemy on north east. Hide your approach. Surfacing every thirty seconds." "Understood." We dived into the gray clouds. I could not see the tips of my planes wings. I could not hear the hum of my friends' planes. This was the most difficult formation for a squad to fly in. For a proper attack the squad members may not leave their positions for more than ten meters, but if we stick too close together we could crash with each other.

This was the ultimate test of coordination and their trust into me! We only every 30 seconds we emerged out of our cloudy cover to check our positions. We left our cover 50 meters before we came in contact with our target. Quickly we surrounded the cloud and shot into it, leaving it to look like a seven spiked star. We got into a line with me in the middle and rotated around the horizontal axis like there was a stick connecting our planes.

"Who wants to go next?" "I WANT TO!" Hange screamed. "Alright then. Hange is the next ride-leader. Does anyone of you guys want to fly?" I meant the Survey Corp people and I knew that they were now talking with their mentors on a different channel. I switched to Captain Levis and my personal channel and asked him too: "Do you want to fly?" "To shout like an idiot? No." "This is not about the shouting part. It really does set the right atmosphere, doesn't it?" "Tch." "This is a game to have fun and to get to know your friends. And it's a test of your abilities and your trust into the current ride-leader." "You really think I trust that crazy glasses?" "Suit yourself. Hange are you ready?" "Yeah!" "What about the rest?" Everyone was ready. "Attack the Titan-murderer! We will take revenge for Sonny and Bean!" That's Hange for you.


	12. Chapter 12- Departure

Of course 'Voyager' would have to depart one day. Someone had to let the SC government know that we found other humans. But I didn't think that they would go so soon. One week after the signing Admiral Champlain called for me, told me they would depart on the next day and ordered me to stay behind with the Blue Squad and wait for their return. He said that 'Voyager' would continue to search for other human settlements for another three months and then head back to the Southern Continent. If everything went well 'Voyager' would return for us in half a year.

When 'Voyager' departed the Garrison soldiers shot salute. The ship/tank returned their greeting with five flares. We watched them for a while. I felt the tension in the air, a mixture of hope, sadness, worry and nostalgia. We spent the rest of the day training with the 3DMG. I thought it would liven up the mood and keep them from worrying. It didn't work out quite the way I thought.

At first it didn't work at all. Normally a workout helps against (a short) depression. And then the miracle happened. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, I, Patricia Erez, was able to cross through a forest without getting entangled by my own rope! "HA! Did you see that? I am not useless anymore!" "Don't get your hopes up. You're still useless if you can't hit a Titans neck." "Here goes!" I jumped to hit the Titans neck. And I missed. "See. You're useless." No one calls me useless. I'll show that Shorty.

It took half a day for me to figure out that I was unable to slice the training dummies like a normal person could. At least my misses made for some funny scenes. One time (the only time) when I actually scored a hit, I was so preoccupied with celebrating that I crashed face first into a tree. Another time I crashed with Chris and Ahmed and got us totally tangled up. The three of us were shouting at each other when Captain Levi came and tried to order us around, which made the chaos perfect.

By the time we came home Krista had already finished cooking dinner. I never noticed her going missing. That girl ... I don't know whether she's an angle or a ghost. But she is cute. And her cooking is great considering the general lack of resources (especially spices). A belly filled with food can make even the grumpiest people (except Levi) happy. It was good to see my squad mates smiling and joking again.

Chris, Connie and Sasha got into an eating contest, which was ended by Levi saying "If you disgusting pigs don't stop this now I will have you cleaning the entire HQ." Melvin and Melissa washed the plates. Jean, Eren, Krista and Walter were playing some board game. Eric and Mikasa were playing chess. Krista and Ymir went somewhere (maybe the ladies'?). Hange was talking with Ahmed about the Titans he had seen until now and poor Armin had to write all of this down. There was a pleasant atmosphere in this room. It's good to know that they can deal with sadness.

I left the mess hall and went to the top of the watch tower. There was something the walled people had and we didn't. Stars. At home you could actually count the stars. Looking up in the sky I understood why our galaxy is called the milky-way. So many beautiful stars. I sat down leaning against the wall. The air was so clear and crisp. I took out my grand-dads harmonica and played some tunes. The old man often wanted to teach me, but as a child I was very impatient. Gramps wrote in his will that he intended for me to have the harmonica, because "even if you did not want to learn, you had a knack for the tunes."

"Are you sulking?" WTF! How did he get up here?! Without me noticing! Smile, Patricia, smile. "No. Should I be?" "Hmpf." Eh? What does that mean? "Do you regret staying here?" "No. I am useful here." "Not really. You eat our food. We need to clean more sheets and maintain your 3DMG. That makes you a burden." "Watch it Shorty. I can still kick your ass." "You're a strange person." "Heh." I grinned and went back to playing my harmonica. I don't know why he listened. I don't know why he said it, but: "It's cold. You should go inside or you'll catch a cold." Levi was right. It was a bit chilly. Still as I stood up I retorted: "Don't you know that idiots don't catch colds?"

If I stayed a second longer I would have heard him saying: "You are no idiot."

If I stayed a second longer he would have seen the blood oozing out of my nose and how I wiped it off with a brownish stained handkerchief.

Again I dreamt of flying. My father and I were soaring through the sky. Instead of planes we were strapped to gliders. How we managed to fly as if the gliders were planes? I have no idea. Probably because it was a dream. Suddenly my father rose higher and higher. I called after him. I shouted: "Dad don't go any higher! There is a slipstream!" A slipstream is a tunnel of air where the goes fast and steady into one direction. I knew if he flew in there, he would not come back. Never. Before he vanished in the whirling air I saw him smiling and I heard him saying: "I need to go there. There are people waiting for me. I need to go to the mountains." And that's when I woke up.

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Hm, this chapter is a bit shorter than I thought.

 **Important note (story):** This chapter concludes the arrival arc. For the next 5-10 chapter I want to write some short stories about their daily life and one or two special chapters about my OCs pasts.

After the short stories I will follow the manga again, only that I will have larger gaps between the arcs, wherever it's possible. The next plot-chapter is chapter 16.

See ya!


	13. Chapter 13- The Battle of Mount Tableau

Hi! I'm starting the short story chapters with a very important incident of Patricias life. The story takes place in the year 838. Patricia is 17 years old. Tableau is French and means 'tray'.

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 _I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell._

 _William Tecumseh Sherman_

838, Southern Continent

In the 8th century humanity is at war with the Titans. Actually we besieged by these bastards. We cannot cross the channel and look for survivors.  
We cannot assess the damage these man-eaters have inflicted on humanity.

Everytime I heard about pilots dying because of the Titans I felt two emotions stirring inside of me.  
The daddy-half of me said: "The Southern Continent is big enough. Why don't the humans simply stay here. They can fly here too."  
The mommy-half was angry and wanted nothing more than to fly out there and kill Titans.

If dad hadn't died when I was fourteen I would have never gone to the air-force. After I finished my compulsory school years I entered the air-force.  
Being there felt right at first. I was my mothers daughter. She was a formation captain and the most skilled, but also the most reckless fighter. I was on top of my fighting classes.  
And I was my fathers daughter. My father was an engineer. He designed and built planes and gliders. Flying came natural to me, like breathing.

During my three years of training I grew close only to two people: Moni and Harry. Monica and Harald.  
Harry was somewhat of a loudmouth. He bragged around, but if he needed help he would ask for it. I often heard instructors saying that he would be a fine pilot.  
Moni was more interested into mechanics. She was no whiz kid, but hard working.  
Harry was also a very huggy and flirty person. I came to think of him as a brother. He knew that. And I knew that he was crushing on Moni. And I knew that Moni liked him back. But she preferred to play hard to get and Harry never told her how he felt.

Then in March 838 the admirals wanted to start with their most ambitious mission yet.  
Some scouts had located a mountain with a big plateau on top, big enough for a base. If this mission were to succeed, humanity would have its first base outside the Southern Continent! The admirals planned to have the support planes bring tons of iron plates to the mountain and to fuse then to the mountains steep sides.  
That way the Titans would not be able to climb up. And while the mechanics were fusing the plates, we fighters would have to protect them.

The day we departed was clear and sun was shining down on us. I had never flown with so many people before.  
Normally we were operating in squads with a maximum of twenty people. Now I was flying alongside two hundred other pilots.  
I hated it. This was no place for flying freely. This was no place to chat with your friends. This was the place to shut up and fly straight ahead. I wasn't even able to choose the proper air-current!

Luckily that only lasted for a day and when I said 'a day' I meant 24 hours straight. I didn't envy the guys who had to take the first watch. Well, someone had to make sure that the Titans don't murder us in our sleep. I snuggled closer to my two friends. Sadly this tranquillity ended too soon.

I decided that Mount Tableau was absolutely beautiful. It was made out of reddish stone that shone in the light of sunset. I hated for this stunning scenery to be destroyed by cladding the mountain in a mantle of iron.  
As soon as we had set up a rudimentary base camp, the engineers went to work. The noise they made could even be heard over the planes engine sounds.  
The captain gave his orders: "We will be relived from patrolling in five minutes. Prepare to descend." I was already looking forward to giving my plane a good scrub. We had a run-in with some Titans today and some specks of blood and flesh, that for some reason didn't evaporate, still clung to it.

After washing my plane I returned to my tent that I shared with Moni and Harry.  
I read about earlier military organisations that forbid men and women sharing tents or rooms. Me, I'd rather share my living and sleeping space with a male friend than a female I couldn't stand. Anyway, when I entered nobody was home. I changed and started reading lying on my sleeping mat.  
Not even ten minutes went by when Moni and Harry came in holding hands. I knew what must have happened. "Ah. So you've finally asked her out. You took your sweet time Harry."  
The blonde blushed and rubbed the back of his head. Moni started grinning. "Don't worry Pat. We won't be all lovey-dovey. We'll have enough time for that back home." I chuckled. "Just tell me when you want the tent to yourselves, 'kay?"  
Both blushed beet red. "I-it's not... W-we haven't... " I laughed. "That's not funny!" Tomato-red Moni attacked poor defenceless me and we playfully wrestled a bit on the floor. I pinned her down and used her stomach as a pillow. "H-hey! No fair! I'm not your pillow!" I answered with a yawn. Harry had in the meantime put away his stuff and spread a blanket over us before he laid down next to my best friend.

Five days after our arrival were called together for a missions briefing. This was quite uncommon. This huge gathering, I mean. Normally the mission leaders do the briefing stuff and then they tell their captains who tell their squads.  
Something must have had happened. We were in big trouble. Someone had not estimated the high number of attacking Titans. Not only did some people already die, but we were running short on fuel. It was not critical yet. With our reserves we could hold up for another week, maybe even more.  
The leaders dispatched a squad to request additional supplies. They never returned.

We continued with our normal patrols for five additional days, but when there was no sign of our supply-squad the leaders decided to reduce the amount of patrols and only the most skilled pilots were selected to fly, because they needed less fuel. I was with them. I knew that if we didn't get supplies soon we would not be able to keep this up.  
So I decided to conduct my own experiments. Both, my granddad and my father had the ability to change the flow of the air. I wanted to do this too. It would enable me to save fuel. Maybe I would be able to fly completely without it!

Due to the reduction of patrols the other pilots were assigned to close-combat-protection. This was the most dangerous version of fighting. These fighters had to slash a Titans neck with any kind of weapon while moving in the cliff with grapple hooks. At least they would hold the monsters back until the pilots arrived and killed them.  
I was terrified! Moni and Harry were out there! I needed to protect them! What else was I supposed to do? Each day when they returned I hugged them until they made me let go.  
I saw others die. Each day the faces grew sadder and angrier. They were angry with us for not being able to protect their friends and family.

Again the leaders dispatched a squad to get supplies. Harry was with them. Before he left he kissed Moni and told me to watch out for her. I told him I would protect her with my life. I've never thought that I would do so literally. And still ...

Two weeks after our arrival at Mount Tableau, two days after Harry left, the Titans attacked en masse. I've never seen that many before.  
And on this day we lost almost all of our remaining pilots due to them fighting until their fuel ran out.  
I swerved around decapitating Titans on my left and right when a shriek pierced the air.  
So familiar.  
Every fibre of me was filled with terror and panic as I watched a Titan raise my best friend to its maw.  
At this moment I had only one thought.

 _I will save her!  
No matter what!  
No matter the price!  
I don't care about my life!  
I don't care about my future! _

_Hers is more precious!  
Hers is filled with love!  
Mine is filled with war and blood!  
Hers is filled with hope!  
I will die in a battle humankind is most certain to lose!_

 _She is a creator.  
I am a destroyer.  
I will not allow her to be killed by these monsters.  
Even if I have to give my life for her._

This was the first time my powers broke free with such ferocity.  
I raced towards her! I sliced the air and finally my wing connected with the Titans neck!  
Never have I felt such satisfaction by killing a Titan. Again I did a physically impossible move to pull my plane around.  
But when I saw the Titan plummet to the ground, a disfigured body fell with it and I knew that she was beyond saving.

And for a split second I didn't know what to do anymore.  
Nothing mattered anymore.  
Why should it?  
My best friend was dead!  
The only person I couldn't survive without!  
What was I supposed to say to Harry?  
But I was dragged out from the pit of despair by another blood curling scream.  
By instinct I bolted towards it.  
And this time I was on time, killing the Titan befor it culd maim the human!  
But the Titans still kept coming.  
I summoned all of the surrounding air to support me and ran my wings through any Titan that came into my sight.

This was the day I became "the hero of humankind". I barley stopped fighting for peeing, drinking or eating. I didn't sleep for two days and even when the attacks stopped I kept circling the mountain watching if ... hoping that a Titan would show its ugly head and I could cut it down.  
My kill-count was unrivalled by any of my fellow trainees. I, being 17, had killed as many Titans as most senior pilots. But I was prouder that I managed to keep the remaining people save. After I started patrolling and using my powers no one died anymore.

When the supply squad arrived and a refuelled fighter squad relieved me form patrolling, I didn't even have the energy to look for Harry to tell him about Moni. I fell asleep while the doctors were examining me.  
I dreamt of drowning in darkness when I realized that I really was suffocating! I woke up to find a face distorted by anger pressing a sheet to my mouth and nose! I punched that face to hear a familiar voice cry out in pain.  
"What are you doing?!" I asked Harry. "You killed her!" he spat. "You promised to keep her safe and you didn't! If you had been just one second faster she would be alive! I heard about your little air-powers! Why didn't you use them then! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HER?"  
I didn't know what to say. I was mortified.  
And when he launched himself at me I didn't know how to defend myself. I screamed and my instincts kicked in.  
Thrashing, biting and scratching I tried to defend myself. We rolled over the floor and suddenly Harry stopped assaulting me. He laid so still and I saw that he hit his head on the edge of the leg of a wooden table.  
Blood was oozing out of his head and I saw that the wood had broken the skull. "HELP!" I screamed and I heard people outside shouting and running towards the medic tent. But they wouldn't be on time.  
I watched Haralds eyes growing dull. Tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes. I didn't know why he was crying. Pain, shock, fear of dying or happiness because he would see Moni again? I didn't know.  
I was pleading for him to stay with me. I couldn't lose two friends so soon after one another.

The leaders called my murder self-defence and decorated me for valiantly defending my fellow soldiers. I was accepted into Blue-squad.  
But I would never forget the day I was to slow to save my best friends. And I would never forget that I killed my best friend myself by hand-to-hand combat. I would never let anyone die on my watch. Never ever again I wanted to go through all this suffering.  
I will become strong enough to save all of them.  
And I never used my powers again. The doctors said my wounds weren't healing well at all and theorized that this was the effect of this 'air magic'. They said it would pass. "Just don't do it too often." they said. It never did. I never was alright again.  
Even when I enjoyed my life there were days, when no one was around, I broke down weeping.

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Wow, this is double the words I normally put into a chapter. I'd really like to hear your opinion about this one. I hope you got to know Monica and Harald well enough to relate to their and Patricias feelings.

See ya around!


	14. Chapter 14- Cleaning days

Hi! Sorry for not writing in such a long time. I had some exams to prepare for. Hah, I have so many ideas; I want a computer that can read my thoughts. Writing would be much easier.

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Patricias POV

At first I thought there was an earthquake. But this particular earthquake didn't stop. If anything it grew stronger and was accompanied by shouting. Drowsy I looked at the window to see the sun hovering high in the sky. Crap! I overslept!

I quickly pulled my uniform on and stormed outside shouting: "Why didn't anyone wake me?!" I almost ran Armin over, causing me to fall on my butt. "I'm sorry!" the little blonde apologized. "Likewise. It was my fault anyway." He scrambled off. I watched the surveycorp members running around with buckets full of water or mopping the floor like their lives depended on it. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Ah, finally you're up sleepyhead." That was probably the nicest insult I've ever received from Levi. He pulled me to my feet and put a mop into my hand. "Go and make yourself useful." "A mop?" "Well, you could use your head too, but I prefer your hairs not sticking all over the floor." "Why don't you use a vacuum cleaner?" "Huh?"

Sadly 'Voyager' didn't leave a vacuum cleaner with us. And since I've been too unmotivated about mopping the floor, I was now cleaning the windows. When it comes down to cleaning smooth surfaces I had practice. I was cleaning my plane on my own after all! And as a plus the weather was nice and sunny.

I was literally hanging out of the window when a bucket plunged down right next to my head. A bucked full of water. The relief I felt turned into shock when I heard a familiar voice cursing from beneath. A certain blackhead looked up with a murderous glare. If looks could kill ... I guess the real culprits have already taken cover.

Captain Shorty charged into the room. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?!" "Nothing. And my bucked is right here." I nudged it with my foot. "And what is THIS?" "An empty bucked." "Are you fucking kidding me Captain Obvious?" "No, I have no idea where the bucket came from Captain Shorty?" "Repeat that, I dare you!" "I have no idea ..." "The last two words," he hissed. "'Captain Shorty'?" I shrugged. "If you call me 'Captain Obvious' I call you 'Captain Shorty'. Payback. I don't like to be indebted."

Before his fist could connect with my face I was already moving and pulled Levis leg from under him. He expected that and jumped but I did a 360 turn and buried my fist in his stomach. He doubled over and another hit from above made him fall to the ground where I secured him in a judo-like fashion. "Sorry! My reflexes took over. Are you alright?" "Get off me."

"Your hand-to-hand combat isn't bad. I guess you passed the test." "What test?" "We have a special mission." "We?" "Yes. We'll report to Erwin now." "And what about this?" I gestured at the room. "Someone else will clean it up."


	15. Chapter 15- Undercover underground

I decided to do a bit of PatriciaXLevi, 'cause I felt like they weren't getting any closer. Well, here goes!

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I've seen slums in the Southern Continent. I blamed the Titans and economy for their poverty. I blamed the Titans for denying us land and I blamed the economy for not paying these people enough. Over time I grew accustomed to see suffering. Fighting is bloody. I saw people dying. I saw people going mad.

Still, I can't even begin to understand how much the humans down here must suffer. The slums back home nothing like this! They might earn just enough money to cover for their basic needs like electricity water food and clothes, but the people here are starving! They are rotting underground without ever seeing the sunlight. I glanced at the ceiling. "Are you sure it won't come down?" I asked for the hundredth time. "It won't. Stop worrying. And stop glancing up or you'll give us away."

Apparently someone wanted to meet us down here, because they thought they had information on the Armoured and the Colossal Titan. I still don't know why Commander Erwin wanted me to go. With my hair colour I was completely out of place. He said something about 'superior hand-to-hand combat skills'. Well, Mikasa had them too. I sighted. The clothes were scratchy. I wished for my own uniform and a hot bath.

All kinds of bad smells were mingling in the stale air. "This is disgusting." "Yeah. It is pretty dirty in this shit hole." "Didn't mean that. I meant the fact that these people live without sunlight, without wind, without sufficient food or clean water. This isn't a shit hole. This is a graveyard. And these people are buried alive."

We arrived at the rendezvous point, a tavern. Or something that passes as tavern around here. Our informant wasn't here yet. We sat at a table and Levi ordered some food, which was a glass of water and one small stone-hard bread for each of us. Then he started to eat as if he had always lived here and eaten this ... stuff. I couldn't force myself to even try one bite. "How can you eat this?" "I chew and swallow." "You know what I mean." "You don't need to know."

A strange man came to our table. "Hello. Have you heard? There are some thieves that stole some 3DMG. I could introduce you to them. For a price of course!" That was the phrase our informant was to say. Levi looked at the man for some time as if he was thinking and then nodded. "I heard rumours. They call themselves the Carapace and the Giant, don't they?" That was the phrase we were to say so that the informant would know that he talked to the right people.

"Yes. They claim to be expelled members of the Survey Corp. They said that they got caught while stealing from the rich people. The names fit them really well. What about my payment?" Of course he couldn't simply say what he knew. That's what he said: 'They are members of the Survey Corp. They look somewhat like their Titan counterparts. That's all I know.'

Great. We went all this way down here to get some vague information. We were walking back to the stairs, when Levi spoke up: "I used to live down here." "Seriously? No wonder you're so small." There was no sarcasm in my voice. "How did you end up in the Survey Corp?" "Long story. Lots of people died." "Friends?" "Yes."

Ahead of us a body fell out of a side street. A man in a blood stained shirt stepped over it and strolled away. I didn't know what to think. This was against all I believed in, all I perceived as normal human behaviour. A human killed another human! I was confused! I knew of people killing in self-defence like I did. I knew that some psychopaths killed other humans. But I never thought that a sane looking person could kill. And all these other people! The passerby's didn't even glance at that body. Or they looked at it with greed or desperation in their eyes.

I didn't even notice that Levi was pulling me along, never stopping. "Are you okay?" "That man killed a person!" "Yes. Murder is quite common here." "Common?" I asked horrified. "You don't have murders in your country?" "They are very rare. The police catches almost all culprits. Then they go through trial. The insane people go into a prison for, well, insane people and the others go into labour camps." Levi didn't answer anything.

"Thank you. With this information we can now narrow down the circle of suspects and develop a strategy to pin them down. You can go now." That was all Erwin had to say. It's not like he had to. The feeling of change was already tangible. After changing into my uniform I sat outside and watched my squad training. Ahmed was training with Walter on how to win against a stronger and heavier opponent.

It must have been almost three years since I spoke for him in court. The little boy had been on trial for stealing and being the lookout for a gang of thieves that killed some merchants. He was going to be shipped off to a labour camp when I proposed to take him in as my squads scout because of his incredible eyesight. I guess the judges were happier with this than convicting a ten year old boy to years of hard labour and little food. My squad and I taught him how to fly, to fight, to read and write and anything else. I hope that one days when he's a grow man he will quit the army and settle down somewhere. I don't want him to die. I don't want anyone to die anymore.

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In the **next chapter I'll be continuing the actual plot.** See ya!


	16. Chapter 16- The walls have been breached

Hi. Sorry that I haven't written in such a long time. I kinda slipped into a different fandom, but I'll still try to finish this story, don't worry.

I just wanted to let those people who favorited/followed my story know: Thank you very very much! Since I don't get many reviews I get my motivation from looking at these two lists and I am really happy to know that there are people who are interested and like my story!

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"TITANS ARE INSIDE OF WALL ROSE!" The news hit like a bolt of lightning. Eren was the first to stand up and shout: "What?! Where?! How many?! I'm going to kill them all!" "Sit down brat." Levi pushed him down again. Seeing that I was the highest ranking officer in this room I went to the messenger and asked him: "Have you told Commander Erwin?" "I'm on my way there." "Then hurry. But fist tell me in which direction they are." "Northwest, sir." "That's where the others are." "Yes Armin. I am aware of that." For some reason the 104th trainee squad got split up. Only Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Jean were currently in the HQ. "Everyone don't panic. I want all of you to calmly get their gear and horses ready and double check everything. Chris, you get my plane running."

After dishing out the orders in a very controlled manner I immediately left for Erwins office. Just out of the others sight my arms started shaking. Do you think I don't fear the battle? Well, I do, like any sensible person. I was extremely worried that Wall Rose had truly fallen but panicking won't do any good. Erwin has a plan ... I hope.

I almost crashed into the messenger, who was leaving the Commanders office. I apologised and entered. The tall blond had his hands crossed over his eyes. I said: "Commander? I told the soldiers to get their gear ready. I hope I didn't exceed my authority. I'd also like to offer my squads assistance. Until nightfall in about 5 hours we can help to limit the spread of Titans." "Yes ... You did good. I would be glad if you could support us with your power. Maybe ... maybe we can at least successfully evacuate the civilians." He stood up and pointed to two villages on his map, one south of Klorva (A/N: the western district of Wall Rose) and one north-west of Trost. "When night falls you can land here and here. I'll notify the Garrison. That would be all. How do you say? Have a save flight?" "Actually it's 'fly well'. Killing Titans and flying save don't go well together."

Just before I reached the planes I was intercepted by Levi. "I want to do something, so give me the keys to any fucking plane." "Hell no! You don't fly well enough and you've never flown in a battle before. Would you let me fight Titans in that gear of yours?" He glared at me. "Sure. Then you are of use as Titan fodder." "Thanks a bunch, but the answer is still no." I was already moving on past him when he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him. "Try at least not to die." His usual unreadable face showed worry. He never struck me as a person who was scared to let his friends fight. Was it because he couldn't fight and watch over us? I smiled at him. "I don't plan on dying."

"Listen up you guys! Chris, Liss and Melvin will take the south flank and Walter, Eric and I will take the north one. Ahmed, you are to look for any Titans that already passed our perimeter. Start in the south and after two hour you are to fly north. The goal is to not let any Titan pass. Understood?" "YES SIR!" "Then let's fly."

Flying northwest I expected the land to be swamped with man-eating humanoids but we saw none. Maybe I should have offered to split up in three teams so that we would have one team covering the area of the breach. On the other hand we now less likely to overlook any roaming Titans and we have to trust our allies a bit. As much as I'd like to fight this war on my own and as much as I hate to see people dying, I have to optimize our strength. Please stay safe!

Time passed. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. It was unnerving not to know what was happening. At least the number of Titans we saw and killed was rather small. The breach must have been open for more than five hours so why were there so few Titans? In the village I met up with the local commander. He was quite a help when it came down to organising stuff, but he did not have more information than we had. However, if his map was correctly drawn it should take about 5 to ten hours of patrolling until we would meet our squad mates tomorrow depending on where the breach was. I guess I should send Ahmed ahead to see where it was.

Today we all slept in the same room (or should I say shed) and not split up by women and men like we did in the HQ. It was reassuring to hear the familiar breathing my friends. We should do this more often. And these guys don't snore like Liss does. Yep, she really snores like a chainsaw. But right now I would give a lot to hear her making sawdust out of her imaginary trees.

We left as soon as the sun sent its first rays over the horizon. There were more Titans around today and we took them down without fail. Even so, if there was a hole in the wall wouldn't the Titans be pouring in by now? Where the hell are they? Not that I miss them but it doesn't make sense.

Around noon we spotted the other part of our team at the horizon. "Come in Chris. It's Patricia. What are you doing here?" "It's good to hear your voice captain. We didn't find the breach. Everything is normal though we haven't been seeing a lot of Titans." "The breach is not on our side either." I pondered for a few seconds and then I gave the order: "Let's follow the wall. We'll start at Klorva and fly to Trost." "Aye aye sir!"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. How in the world is this possible? As soon as we landed in Trost I went to Commander Erwin. Maybe he knows something. I found his office empty and all of the Survey Corp officers were gone. Finally I found Erwin's secretary an old man who's right leg was missing. He told me that the Commander and the whole Survey Corp had gone to rescue Eren who had been kidnapped by Titanshifters. The secretary told me the general direction in which they had been heading. My squad and I refuelled our planes on the double. I hope we would be fast enough to make a difference.

In times like these I am truly glad that our formation has its very own scout. Only because of Ahmed we were able to find and reach the battlefield in time. What a gruesome sight! Dead Titans and dead humans lying all over the plain dying the green grass blood red. My blood turned to ice. How many must have died? How many families had someone taken from them?

But I cannot change the past. The only thing I can do is to make sure that no one dies anymore. "Triangle formation with the Survey Corp in the middle." I ordered. "Lizz and Melvin take the right rear flank. Eric and Walter take the left rear. Chris and I will secure the front." And my orders were immediately executed.

The wall was already visible on the horizon but somebody must have told the Titans where we were. Not only were the others on the rear flanks busy cutting down one Titan after another but some Titans were between us and the wall and another pack was closing in from the east. I accelerated towards the man-eaters with Chris right behind me. We cut two Titan heads cleanly off before flying in a tight turn. Chris went for the two short ones and I sped frontal towards the taller Titan. I was planning to have my left wing pass under his chin and run the bladed wing through his throat and neck. But then I noticed how his eyes were fixed on Chris. Like a human that wished to squash a fly, one of the Titan's hands reached out to flatten my friend to the ground.

"Watch out Chris!" I shouted into the microphone but when I looked to the front again I saw how the Titan was bending down! SHIT! I crashed into its head! There was a horrible screeching sound and then the world went spinning! I was handling the controls like a madman trying to stabilize my plane and as insurance I extended the wheels. Then I hit the ground hard. The wheels' strut's were bending under the stress but thank goodness they didn't break.

"Are you alright?!" Chris shouted into his microphone and subsequently into my ear. "Yes. I'm good. But I won't be flying anymore." "Roger. I'll take care of the other Titans." The Survey Corp was already closing in from behind me. I should get going. "Good luck Chris." Please don't die.

The damage on my left wing was extensive. Half of it was gone. My poor plane. Suddenly Sasha came up on my left side. Due to the noise I couldn't understand a word she said. When I used sign language (1) Sasha started waving her hands to the west. At first I saw nothing. Then three Titans appeared from behind a small forest. Crap. Even if the Survey Corp had the man power to take them down they wouldn't have a way to move around. The Titans were already out of the forest! And without the ability to fly I was just a sitting duck! My squad was already busy! They couldn't come to save us! We were going to die.

'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.' (2) I can't let them die. I just can't. Even if I have to sacrifice myself, I won't let them die. I won't let them die! **I won't let them die.**

A feeling rose in my chest. I had felt it before, years ago when I had to command the air to keep my friends safe. The feeling that made me ill. I activated the emergency communications channel and spoke: "This is Captain Patricia Erez from the Blue formation. As of now Lieutenant Globe will command this formation. I hereby transfer my commanding rights to Lieutenant Christopher Globe." I turned the communications off. I knew what their reaction would be like. I didn't need to hear it. I'm so sorry.

Then I let this foreign emotion overtake me. Suddenly everything seemed to be child's play. I accelerated faster than ever before. My dear Titans, your hunter is coming for you. Although half of my left wing was missing I rose into the air. There was no stopping me. The atmosphere was my playground. I effortlessly cut through a Titans neck. That was when I felt the pain for the first time, stabbing me right into my stomach. And it only got worse. While my plane was chasing over the sky, dancing around the Titans and cutting through their necks with impossible grace I felt that my nose and ears started bleeding. Then I tasted it in my mouth and I had trouble breathing.

The aircraft started wobbling and I landed it. It felt like there was blood in my lungs. My eyelids grew heavy. It didn't matter anymore whether I lived or died. They are safe. That was my only thought before losing consciousness. They are safe.

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(1) Patricia doesn't use the sign language used by hearing impaired people, but the one (or a form of the one) that scuba divers use to communicate with ships.

(2) From Star Trek. It's a saying of the Vulcans, an extraterrestrial race that chose logic over emotions.


	17. Chapter 17- Tick tock, run little clock

_Soaring through the canyon I felt more alive than ever. I rose up towards the snow-capped summits of the mountain range. The wind was carrying me as I wished. The snow didn't feel cold at all. The sun wasn't hot and the wind didn't scratch my skin like usual. If this was the afterlife then it wasn't bad at all._

 _Still, I felt this longing inside of my chest. All alone above the great forests I longed for someone to share this with me. As if my wish had been heard by a higher entity my father appeared right beside me. I smiled. Finally we were a family again. Briefly I wondered if my grandparents were here too. But then my old man took my hand and gently pulled me upwards towards the sun. And when I looked at him puzzled, he said the same words as he did years before._

 _Back then I had said I wanted to become exactly like him. 'If all kids became like their parents then the world would not change. We are here for you to learn from. We are here to help you. I hope that one day you'll go somewhere I didn't and you'll tell me about it.'_

 _I started talking. I started with my enrolment into the air-force. He didn't seem to be happy with it. I told him about Mount Tableau and he patted my head to comfort me. I talked about my squad-mates and introduced everyone in detail._

 _Then I told him about the humans that lived inside the wall, how I respected them for their bravery. He chuckled when I ranted about how there was not electricity which meant no hot water and no electric lamps._

 _The clouds had long blended in with the snowy surface when I got started on the people I met inside the walls. Hot-headed Eren, silent but violent Mikasa, clever blonde Armin, always hungry Sasha, boastful Jean, sweet and kind Krista, loyal Connie, protective Ymir, intelligent and crazy Hange and their commander Erwin and his incredible leadership._

 _Then I told my father about that enigma of a corporal. If you'd trip Levi would anger you with his rude comments but at the same time he would give you hand and to help you up again. I wondered about how this squirt of a man could be humanities strongest when he couldn't even fly straight ahead. I admired and sometimes hated the way he had to have everything spotless clean, almost sterile. He irritated me by keeping everything to himself but at the same time Levi was very easy to read. He was a likeable guy, I guess, and I trusted him more than I probably would trust another person I have only met a few months ago._

 _And then I told him about the Titan Shifters, gentle Berthold and strong Reiner and how they kidnapped Eren. I asked Dad about his opinion on what they want and why they exist, but he didn't answer._

 _We slowed down. The sun filled the sky above us. Why are we here? "Do you want to go back?" These were the first words I heard Dad speak. I almost cried at hearing his familiar voice again. "I am dead, daddy. I can't go back." "Do you feel dead?" I chuckled. "I don't think so. How does 'dead' feel like anyway?"_

 _He shook his head and pushed me into the white and shining sun. It didn't blind me and it didn't feel hot either. I got drawn deeper in and Dad started to vanish. The smoky mass of sun made him look paler and paler by the second. I wasn't able to make out the golden-hazel colour of his eyes and last his fiery red hair vanished from my vision._

 _How long have I been here? Was I still moving? Voices sometimes broke the silence of this place but they were too garbled to make out words or persons. I want to get out of here. I can't stay here. I shut my eyes and screamed out: "Let me go!" Then I felt the acceleration growing stronger and stronger before I blacked out._

I woke up and blinked to adjust my eyes to the surroundings. The room was painted in a dirty white and it was pretty dark. Only a little light shined at my left. I felt the bandages on my body and then the pain returned. "Owow ow." Other feelings returned too, thirst and hunger ... and relief. I was still alive.

"Finally you woke up, stupid." Levi sat at my left and was reading. "Why are you here? How long was I out for?" "Five days. Those other brats were too worried to perform their duties sufficiently." "Aha. So you kindly volunteered to be my nurse." I mocked him. "Tch. Dream on."

But when I got a coughing fit and hissed (while coughing) because I couldn't turn to my side, because of the injuries, he appeared to be worried. After I stopped he held a glass with water towards me. And when I tried to sit up (I mean have you ever drunk water while lying?) and failed because of the pain, he helped me up. "Thanks." "Tch. Shut up and drink."

I slipped back into the covers. While my body was hurting and numb at the same time, I felt wide awake. "Hey, Levi." He grunted. "I am hungry." "Then go and get something." I rolled my eyes. "Seriously. Your bedside manners could use some work." "I don't do babysitting." "I'm no baby. I don't shit myself." When I heard him chuckling I thought about the sentence I just said. "Great. Your foul language is rubbing off on me."

"What do you want?" "Fruits or raw vegetables. Something I can eat lying. No meat." He was almost out of the door when I called: "Uh, and could you get me my book? It should be on my bedside table. 'City of light'. Black and gold cover." "If it shuts you up." I smiled. Levi truly is a kind person.

Levi's POV

When I returned with her book and two apples the woman was asleep again. If she had to send me away like an errand boy couldn't she at least have the decency to stay awake until I returned? I sat on that hard chair again and started browsing through that book.

'City of light'. What a cheesy title. Surprisingly the whole book was written by hand. I had to admit that whoever had written this had a very beautiful handwriting. The content itself wasn't very interesting. It consisted mostly of poems and songs.

I put it aside again and looked at the sleeping woman. She didn't look younger at all. She just looked frailer. When the medics carried her in I thought she broke our promise. I had been worried about her and when I heard that she would live (at least for a while longer) I was relieved. Patricia was different from all women I had met.

I took a strand of her red hair and ran my fingers through it. When I first met her I thought that she was stuck up, useless and a pain in the ass. Then we trained and talked and I had to change my opinion of her. Wildfire. The colour of her hair also resembled her. Free spirited, stubborn and selfless. Before I learned of her condition I thought that she was the only one who could hold a candle to me in terms of fighting skill. I was sure that in a situation where anybody else would die, she would survive.

I caught myself caressing her cheek. No! I must not develop feelings for her. It would only hurt me. Instead I busied myself by reading the stupid poetry book. I started mumbling: "Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole,-" "Wrong!" A voice interjected. The red haired woman had woken up and blinked. "You sound like a kid reading a story." She swallowed and then recited the full poem:

"Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."

I was surprised. I never knew that a poem could convey so much emotion. I felt that these words touched something deep inside of me; something that was a central part of my being. It kept me alive during my days in the underground city. It made me choose the survey corp. I wonder what it meant to her?

Patricia's POV

I set the book aside, reached for an apple and begun eating the fruit. I didn't like it very much. It was too mealy. "What? Not good enough for you?" Levi asked scornfully. I shrugged. "I prefer crunchier apples." I ate it in silence.

Once I was finished I asked how the mission ended. "We lost sixty people and Commander Erwin almost died because his arm was bitten off." So cold. Levi's voice was so cold as if he didn't feel any emotion. But in his stormy grey eyes I could make out the facade he put on to shield himself. And behind all these walls was just a normal person who has experienced too many hardships.

Then I felt a rough hand gently cupping my cheek. A thumb brushed my lips and for a second I could see Levi breaking down the barriers around his heart, but I averted my gaze. That is a road I cannot walk on, an emotion I cannot accept.

Tick tock, run little clock and remember that one day time **will** be up.

"Levi don't." "I know." He stood up and made his way out of the room. "I'll go and look how Erwin is keeping up." I'm sorry. If we only had met earlier...

 _Again the mountains were waiting for me in my dreams. This time I was racing towards them. The landscape zoomed by and became blurred. But my goal remained far away. I couldn't get close. I've waited too long. Too long. Always late. And I always regret it. I have to go._

I have to go. Suppressing the pain I sneaked outside with only one thought remaining in my head. I have to go. In my room I searched the pockets of my uniform and found the keys for my plane. I have to go. I must not be late. Luckily my squad mates had recharged my plane. I put the key in and flew off towards the dark cloudy sky. My intuition took over and guided me in a certain direction.

I have to go. I didn't care whether they'd miss me. I didn't care whether they'd hate me. I didn't care whether I've made them cry. I have to go.

The night sky lightened up. The day went by. I never stopped. I felt my wounds reopening and sometimes I fell asleep only to wake seconds later. Finally when the night fell again I saw mountains on the horizon; the mountains from my dreams. I coughed and coughed. Blood filled my mouth.

I slalomed through the canyons and cliffs as I've done so many times in my dreams, though back then my body wasn't on the verge of breaking down. My vision went monochrome. Suddenly I became blind, just for a second though. It returned just in time for me to evade a cliff only to crash into a snowy slope. I wanted to take off again but the cold numbed my body. I was going to die here.

My fingertips turned to ice while my breath clouded in the freezing air. I shouldn't have gone. I could have died ina warm and nice bed. I chuckled. At least now I'm dying faster. I just need to go to sleep. Somewhere I could hear the engines of a plane and it was coming closer. I wonder who'd be out in his shitty weather. The engines were turned off and the snow crunched under someone's feet. You don't need to save me. I'm just gonna sleep for a bit. The last thing I sensed was a hand turning me around and a pair of golden eyes like mine.

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The poem isn't mine. It's called 'Invictus', written by William Ernest Henley. I think it's epic ... especially if you read it with a voice filled with determination and strength. Honestly, I don't like many poems, but this one I love. I heard it while watching 'Star Trek: Renegades' on YouTube and I recommend to you to watch the first two or three minutes of the film (that's when the poem is recited) even if you don't like Star Trek.


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